We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
