Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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