if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My pussy is not your playground.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
