Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize