He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
