the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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