My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
