O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
