I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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