Having a random hookup so left but love u
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
