it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
