I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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