so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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