I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
