Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize