So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
