Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
