My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
