Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
