i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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