We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
