So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize