Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
