I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just gift wrapped bread.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
