Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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