STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
