that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
