So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
