fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
you're hired as official boob wrangler
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
