R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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