she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
