why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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