I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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