I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
