Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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