We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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