I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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