i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
