so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize