Are we in a gay sports bar?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
