i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
