They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
