Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize