Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
