HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize