Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
