its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
i out mim tonsoeep
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
