"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
