these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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