I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
