so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
