on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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