I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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