I don't think brook has ever known best
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Found the puke drawer
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
