I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
