i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i came on her dog
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
