I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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