You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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