if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
