3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
