Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
