Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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