wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
