is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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