I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Bring me that man meat
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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