; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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