Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
