Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Can you bring me the toilet please
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
