I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
