A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
