you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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