I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
