booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
