thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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