Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize