I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
