it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
