it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
