you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
