thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
