I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
